There is a deep grief inside of me, untapped – like water just below a surface it rushes. There is a little girl in our community who is dying. She is a carbon copy of my little girl. Eight years old – sweet, smart, precocious and brave. She is a real person – angry and … Continue reading »
Life Is But A Dream
These days I hurry. I rush. Put your shoes on, grab your coat, where did your socks go? I face forward; head down, soldiering on. I talk and talk, words, words, words. I am monotone as I review my phone messages and check the weather, the bank, my grades. I call them by the other … Continue reading »
All Along
“Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?” ― Mary Oliver, New and Selected Poems I am realizing that the big life changes we make are done fairly cluelessly. We arrange and rearrange, pretending we have control, but it’s all a crapshoot in the end. And those … Continue reading »
And Rain.
I miss: Freedom to leave Endless afternoons The thrill of the chase Being wooed The early days of memorizing hands Getting lost in your eyes Road trips Laughing so hard I cry Singing Dancing with abandon Time without end Hearing the first notes of a song you know you are going to love Feeling amazing … Continue reading »
Love Letter
There are times when I am a snowball, rolling, catching the snow around me, feeling it stick to me until I feel so laden down that I can hardly move. And there are other times when I am a spring, bouncing from one chore to another, my mind so busy I am unable to finish … Continue reading »
Kenilworth
I knock on the door three times, waiting for an answer. Finally, I push open the door – my door – and hear a distinct, familiar giggle. My oldest daughter comes bounding towards me as something flies behind her hitting her. She laughs and picks it up, throwing it back at the unseen person. Apparently … Continue reading »
Reading Rainbow
During middle school we were in interim, living in my grandparent’s house on the lake while my parents got established. The majority of the house was filled with my grandparent’s stuff – beautiful paintings and a baby grand piano, old books in the built-in bookcases and what seemed like infinite numbers of classical music recordings. … Continue reading »
The Real McCoy
I am sad. I am blank. I am moving through the thick air of the day. I grieve. Nose to the grindstone. Head above water. I’ve battened down the hatches. The truth is I’m struggling right now and I’m finding myself to be the biggest opposition. I have an inherent need to wrap everything … Continue reading »
The Fire
The flames were 25 feet high. Or maybe 6. Possibly 20. I was never good at estimating, plus I never actually saw the fire. But I smelled it and talked about it with the other kids, our hushed whispers mimicking the whispers of the adults’. It was coming closer, speeding through the already sun-burned grasses, … Continue reading »
Automatic
I’m on the cusp of something. I sit numbly, on the edge of my chair, watching my three year old “put on a play.” Everything is muted and, as if she were far away, I watch her peel stickers off a door and stick them on a window. She knows this is naughty but continues … Continue reading »
